People do stupid things to be loved. We try to adapt to change. That feeling you get when you start to question yourself whether you're stupid doings are just plain stupid, and then trust issues comes along and kicks your self purity out of the equation. That 99% in you keeps hanging on, while there's that 1%. That statistical margin of error. It'll drag you down.
Sleep deprived is the definition of your nights. Help and attention is what you need, but guess what? Its not there. You just keep on asking yourself what it takes for you to just give up. Trying to be enough is not even enough. Asking for your day to get any worse is just a rhetorical question but instead it becomes a challenge, a dare. And now your plain dead with no one else to lean on because you feel you're not enough or maybe you just feel that other people don't understand you that again was trust issues. Can't explain your emptiness. Giving yourself a mockery out of the drama you weren't intended to produce. you wish to be senile just thinking about your problems. I couldn't help but wonder... Are we ever good enough? Or are we just plain BROKEN.
I'll tell myself to run on the other direction. Asking myself how can I get back all those feeling I invested. Looking back was a mistake. Everything we had just vanished into thin air. In what way can I acclimate myself from what I was before any of it happened again. Waiting for the moral story of our never ending tale. What both us did to each other was never enough to have a sequel. As much as I hate it, to fall for it all over again just to screw with myself. I cant help but frown and see us tied with our hand inside of our abyss. It will never be good enough for us. Maybe its mutual. Is this where you want us to be? In this pit of seemingly bottomless chasm?
Someday I'll be lucky and strong enough to forget. While I wait for that someday. I shall endure all this pain we both created. This monster will forever haunt me. I just hope that our monster makes sure we're both inside this pit.
xo Manic Pixie
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