Laissez-faire Game

In the game of life as I see it, people keep looking for that certain thing that will help them feel alive.  And with that factor they'll know what will keep them from playing the game. There's no rules set out there to play the game. So instead we make them. Rules are the reason we live. Formal or informal as it is, it keeps us alive. And that factor considered by ourself courts in deciding whether to grant bond with the idea of living. 

For some people love is that main factor. For some its money, beauty, fame or drama... The list goes on and on. It's limitless. We just need to find what's that factor we want. What we pick might look little out on depth to others but what do they care? It's 'always' had to be our choice. It's our Laissez-faire. The more we accept that the less deep it feels. Scrutinized or not, its what keeps us alive. It was make us feel we're "alive". For so long I've been searching for that factor. That reason. The more I play the game the more I change my mind. It's that change of life. It's human nature. We cant stop ourselves from growing. Caving in my feelings is the hard part. Admitting to yourself you've changed isn't easy. 

In this nutshell that I've been living, my own personalized blur of life. I keep everything to myself. Every personal details I have I tend to keep it to myself. What ever I've been dealing, I've learned to keep it all to myself. I don't know maybe its my way of dealing it. I even become my own therapist at some point. Sometimes it keeps me strong but some other times its the reason why I breakdown. But suddenly I realized, in the middle of every meltdown we all need someone to talk to. We can't just go out and tell every random people what we're dealing. We need that someone who knows how to handle you and someone who knows whats up with you. We need our person. And in vice versa. Finding your person is tricky. Specially in this unpredictable salad bowl of people. I know you'd think that your closest friends are your person. But no, there's still that few people who really know how to handle you and that drama you posses. If there's something I've learned in life. Friends are always there but no matter what we're dealing we shouldn't burden your problem. They might be dealing with other stuff too. That's the reason why I dont go telling everyone my problems. We're friends... We shouldn't live our lives together with problems, lets just have a happy day.

 Friends come and go. Persons do too. You should just handle the fact that they will soon be gone. You should have known from the start that, you have accepted them from the moment you became friends. No matter what drama comes along, there should still be that bond that shouldn't break. Give them chance to explain and accept them. They are people too just like you. Capable of hurt and love. 

A wise friend from LA once quoted me "Forrest Gump"; "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." He made me realize that we should accept and forgive our friends. It's not hard for me do to that because I'm grateful that I'm surrounded by lovely, amazing and weirdo people with strong personalities. I happy I have them. That's how much I love them. We're mature enough to know that drama shouldn't stay inside. It should be talked out and handled with reasonable and with an open mind. 

We don't crave love, drama, fame, money beauty..etc. All of us we crave importance. That feeling of being important to someone. We all want to have that someone who knows that we're important to them. That kind of factor in life is what we need to feel alive. At lease for me. That's my reason of living this life given to me. I know it can change. We all can change. we change. Every week. Within a month we've have already formed into a different individual. And we can do is hope that I change for the better. Feeling or appearing casually calm and relaxed leads to a breakdown at some point. Just hang in there and find your person. I have mine, and I have the bestest friends.

xo Manic Pixie

Just sayin'